Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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