I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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