im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize