I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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