The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize