His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We have so much sex to catch up on
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
