There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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