Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
