ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
