I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
