batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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