we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
