in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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