So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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