porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
