thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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