you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
