His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I CAN MOONWALK!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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