Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize