you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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