don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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