he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
