take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
