it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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