Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
