you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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