Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
