Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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