THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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