i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
