we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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