Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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