Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
