The maid of honor just puked.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
