End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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