You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
