it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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