i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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