i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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