I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im holly from the hills drunk
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
