I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
