Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
