the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
