I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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