Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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