unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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