My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
