love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
