That's when you crack a 10am beer
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
