There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
