i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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