There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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