The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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