real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
