I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
