i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
