people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
