Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
