Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize