smell my finger.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
