There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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