so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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