I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
