i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry my hands just texted you
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
