oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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