They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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