Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
