But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am puke
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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