we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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