Is it because I queefed?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize