so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize