Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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