Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
