talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize