We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
