I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
